Smith Shack

2012-02-04T11:02:00.004-07:00

My Sweet little girl sneaked into my room the other night and when I went to bed this is what I found on my pillow. I love that she is at the agethat we can exchange notes to tell each other we love each other. One of my best memories growing up was when my mom would write me a love note at church. She would always start in off, Dear Jaimee, this is a love note (but in the place of note she would draw a music note.) I have such awesome parents

My little Diva. Yesterday we painted nails, did make up, fixed hair, and did a photo shoot. I am working on my girly side. She loved every second of it!

The many ways my kids fall asleep!

So we started potty training last Sunday. It is rough but I am determined. We are all getting tired. This is what it has looked like around here late in the week. I would show a picture of me but I haven't worked out or even left the house in 6 days. Showering is still a luxury especially since naps are becoming more rare. Needless to say a picture of me is something I am not willing to share.

Sad fact, Tyler slobbers like crazy and I honestly don't know if he gets more pee or slobber in the toilet each time he goes!

Yep they are both passed out on the toilet laying on my lap. They are starting to get it. I know it will take time but I am done with diapers!

I wasn't ready!

2012-01-31T15:20:00.006-07:00

(Allie playing Mary in the Nativity)

The other day Brooklyn and I were in the strangest mood. She was talking about spanking bottoms and I told her about the day she was born and the Dr. turned her upside down and smacked her on her bottom. I continued to do a theatrical performance about what it was like in the hospital room when she was born. Then I gave her a big hug and told her I was glad to be her mommy.

Allie walked in half way through my performance and at the end she looked up at me and said, "What about me!"

I started to sob. I new these questions would come but I thought I had 5 years to pray and think about what to say. Sometimes the Lord likes to see impromptu performances I guess.

I held her and cried for a few minutes thinking I was unable to truly express what a miracle she is to me. Only like Allie can she looked at me with empathy and said, "you cryin mama!" and gave me a hug. She let me cry for a minute.

After the initial sadness of not having the exact story of the night she was born I remembered the day that Della brought her to our home for the 1st time and this is what I told her. "The Lord sent you to us in a very special way. He sent you to Aunt Della so she could bring you to us. She loved you so much and thought it was so important that you have brothers and sisters that she prayed to find a family for you and Aunt Della chose us." I continued to tell her the story and I was again amazed by it. I have never seen the Lords hand so clearly in my life as at that time.

Many miracles happened to bring her to us. The sight of her sitting in my dads arms the 1st time she was in our home is a memory that will stick with me forever.

I pray that I am ready for questions like these when they come. I hope I can express the love I feel for my little girl and little man when they want to know their story, when they have questions about Jennifer, and when they feel frustrated that Jennifer has kids out there they don't know. I hope that our family is enough. I hope I can bring comfort and peace to them. I hope I do this mom thing right with all my kids. It would suck to put your heart and soul into something only to be crappy at it

I wasn't ready for the questions to start already. It has been a few weeks since she asked me to tell her about when she was born and I know she has forgotten all about it but it has been on my mind a lot. I pray that the Lord is with me when my kids need me. I pray that I know what to say at the right time. I pray that I am a good mom.

Can you say uncomfortable!

2012-01-17T21:27:00.001-07:00

She slept like this all night long!

Monkey Bars!

2012-01-17T21:21:00.004-07:00

Jee Bah Bah. AKA Jingle Bells

2012-01-17T21:11:00.002-07:00

I have just now figured out how to download my pictures and
videos so I hope this works. Here is Tanners Version of Jingle Bells I hope you enjoy

2012-01-16T15:55:00.002-07:00

So much to blog about but so little time. I promise there will be more to come. Last night Jon Brooklyn and I sat down and watched this:

Brooklyn said that she watched a video about him at school where a man wouldn't let him play baseball on a certain field. Brooklyn watched the above video twice with us as we explained what it all meant. Although I know she does not understand all of it I saw her trying to comprehend what it was like for people when they were mistreated for no reason at all. Her sweet heart felt sympathy for these people and she was amazed at the # of people who were there to listen to him that day. I love that my husband takes the initiative to sit down with my kids and explain what courage is. To show examples of people in history such as MLK, Ghandi, and most important Christ. I am so happy that he is there father. So happy Martin Luther King day.

I really promise I have more pictures and stories to come. It was just such a rare moment where Brooklyn was actually thoughtful and not looking for the next party that I thought I should document.

Coloring

2011-12-16T16:03:00.002-07:00

Just a quick note. I let the kids color pictures today and for the 1st time ever the boys did not eat the crayons. Yeah another activity we can start doing during the day that will not require a bath or teeth brushing. I am so happy!

Another Long Post

2011-11-29T11:44:00.006-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR ALLIE!
I have heard this about 50 times a day from Allie since her birthday.
It was such an awesome day and I don't think Allie could have had any more fun. I love this girl! We enjoyed a fun filled day at Enchanted Island. It was such a great time. Della, Tina, and Troy came. We went on rides, Troy took us fishing, we ate greasy food. It was wonderful. Allie is 3 years old and I can hardly believe it. She loves the color Pink, Gum, Mints, and Her brothers and sisters. Maybe in that order! She is such a girly girl. I love her so much! Happy Birthday Allie!

While at Allies birthday Troy took us fishing and Brooklyn caught her 1st fish. We were all so proud!

Another 1st! Brooklyn lost a tooth! Is it possible to be cuter with less teeth!

A few more pics from Halloween!

Just to show how cute the kids are!

This little boy makes my heart melt! I love him so much. Just look at this picture, how could you not. He is such a sweet boy. The days that I have these boys are my best and hardest day. The best because it is when I feel the closest to Lana and the hardest because I know what they are missing out on by not having her here. I still miss her. The days when I hold the boys are the days that I can't stop the tears. I love you Lans.

This is just a paper that Brooklyn wrote for school. I want to make sure that I had it forever! Way to funny! It is supposed to say Spiders eat insects!

Random Videos - I love these because I don't have to write very much!

Such a good big sister!

Remembering Lans

2011-11-03T15:04:00.002-07:00

Isn't She Beautiful!

I have put off writing this because of the difficulty of it. But here it is:

I sat down and hugged Jon today and remembered the days Lana was pregnant with Andrew. We grew the closest during that time. We would talk about how when Andrew was born and she would be working less. There would be play dates at the park, dinners with the family, we would raise the cousins together. We would predict which cousins were going to be best friends. I think it was different every time we talked. The greatest lesson I learned from Lans is what joy simple things can bring you. These were her dreams. Playing in the park with cousins. Having a store that helped people who had cancer, a family get together. The humble list could go on and on. She had such joy in these little things. As my sister in law said she had this life figured out.

Lans was always excited and ready for the next step in life but she always found immense joy in the moment. I remember her living in the back of the store almost since Matthew had been born and she not only never complained, she would tell me how great it was. Then she bought her first home and even though I didn't think it was possible she was full of even more excitement and joy.

My favorite story of Lana was second hand from my mother in law. Even in the midst of a trial like this she was talking to Betsy and said "You know what is so great about cancer?" Betsy looked at her like she was crazy and said, " No Lans what is so great?" She replied, "I get to spend more time with family than I ever have!"

There were few times that I saw Lana get frustrated and it broke my heart. I remember she was at my home, getting ready to leave. She was in such pain that she couldn't make it down my front steps. I went over to her and helped her down the steps and she began to sob. My heart broke. I hugged her for a short time praying that the pain would stop. I have prayed every night for 10 months for that very thing. I am happy that Lans can smile again. Although we are left behind to grieve such a devastating loss my peace comes from knowing we will see her again. Lans we love and miss you with all our hearts. Your memory will live on through your boys, your family, and your friends. I love you!

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T12:20:00.002-07:00

It was a great Halloween this year. We enjoyed family, friends and lot's of candy! Grandma, Grandpa, Della, Troy, Tim, Becca, Ryan, and lot's of cousins. We had a great time. The kids were adorable trick or treating. Tanner was scared of every house but really loved getting the candy. It was a dilemma with each home if he would walk up or if we had to carry him. They were all so adorable. At the end of the night Della snapped this picture. It was one of those moments as a parent you realize all your hard work is definitely worth it. All the looking for the costumes, cooking, cleaning, etc. It was a special day for the kids. This picture was a great family moment.

A Day a School for Allie

2011-10-19T15:11:00.003-07:00

Emily is amazing. I get a treat almost everyday Allie comes home from Preschool.
Here she is today making us some amazing cookies.

2011-10-19T13:16:00.010-07:00

I have been ridiculously busy lately and a Very simple blog about what has been going on lately will have to do. New York was everything I dreamed it could be. My kids are incredible. Ect.

NEW YORK
Time Square

The Naked Cowboy. I swear this guy makes bank!

Best Restaurant!

Only 20 people could fit in here. It was packed the whole time. It was fantastic

NORTHPORT
Great cute little town. I love this kind of thing!

Best Bakery!
Right next to Dave and Deanna's. So Yummy!

New York Public Library!

FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD!

The Brooklyn Bridge

Fun times with David Letterman

Staten Island Ferry!

Fire Island and a Nude Beach!
Beautiful Lighthouse, Beautiful Beach, Not so Beautiful Naked People

Central Park!
Biking it and Hot dogs in the park. It was a wonderful day!

Grand Central Station

St. Patrick's Cathedral

Jon wanted to buy our rental car. He thought it was so masculine

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BROOKLYN GETS A HOLD OF MY CAMERA

Brooklyn is such a smarty!

School Pride Week!
Crazy Hair Day!

Decade Day

Out on a walk!

Another Milestone Reached!

2011-09-27T07:00:00.005-07:00

I might be being a little dramatic but I can not believe it. My luck has run out. I thought I had another 3 - 4 months but sadly that is not the case. My cute little duo has figured it out. They have broken out of their crib for the 1st time today. I was in the shower at about 6:15 this morning and I hear, "Mom" about a dozen times. I thought it was Allie but when I opened the shower door there was my little man Tanner. I told Brooklyn not to get him out of bed which she told me she didn't then looked to see Jon still lying in bed. He told me Tanner did it on his own. I thought it was cute but with going to New York in 2 days poor Emily and Jessica have to deal with bed time. About 2 minutes later Jon sees Tyler running around the corner. He must have looked at Tanner breaking out and thought, "Hey I can do that!" and he did. I think the next step they will take is cutting out their naps. Really this is bitter sweet. I love to see them grow and do new things but I want them to stay my little mans. They are getting so big and I love my kiddo's so much.

928-645-5536

2011-09-15T19:43:00.003-07:00

This is a totally ridiculous thing to blog about but it is funny the impact that this number has had on our family. I called this number just yesterday to talk to my dad and the reply I got was, "this number has been disconnected and is no longer in service." For as long as I remember this is the number I have called to talk to my mom and dad. This is the # that I gave friends to call. For nearly 25 years this was my number. It is absurd to be bonded to a phone number I know but I couldn't believe my parents wouldn't give me a heads up that the # I have called them on my whole life was disconnected. I called my mom to give her a hard time in a loving way only to find out later that as soon as she got off the phone with me my sisters and her all had a good cry over the loss of our phone number! My nieces looked at them like they were complete freaks but they could not possibly understand in a world of technology were you never have to memorize a phone number what it was like to have just one number your whole life. You had to write it down to give it to people. You couldn't just plug it into your phone. The bottom line is that I will miss calling my mom and dad at this phone number it is another reminder that they are so far away. I will miss them both!

Most Original Wedding Invite Ever!

2011-08-30T18:58:00.007-07:00

Mary Tabliss also known as Marital Bliss is the author of this upcoming wedding. I thought this was a really unique invite and thought more people should see it. I cut out any information of the bride and groom but I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! (You might have to make it bigger to read all of it.)

What's going on!

2011-08-24T12:54:00.006-07:00

Just an update!

Brooklyn does it again. Another original! It is definitely unique.
I am in trouble when she wants to start choosing her outfits for school!

Allies first day of Preschool. I am so excited about this. Allie goes to my friends Emily's 2 days a week while I am at the gym from 9:00am -11:30am. Perfect time because I am not missing out on any time with my little girl. Then I go and get her, I put the boys to bed and we get to hang out, just me and Allie. I love this time. We do whatever we want. She helps me with dinner, clean the house, bake something, fall asleep watching a movie, read a book, work on anything Emily says she needs, helps me blog like right now, etc. I love it!
I could not ask for anyone better than Emily. She puts so much time into it and I appreciate her so much. She has 5 amazing kids of her own and I am so grateful she is able to do this.

Here are some pictures on Allies 1st day!

Just a few random pictures I love!

Allie is so cold in the pool she had to have a blanket.
I know 106 degrees in freezing. There is a video to match!

I am such a lucky mom waking up to this each morning!

The boys wrestling. The are best friends these days!

Allie singing a turtle song I just taught her!

Not Yet!

2011-08-17T17:41:00.003-07:00

Jon was driving Brooklyn to school today and this is there conversation.

Jon: So what friends are you going to play with today?

Brooklyn: Jake Pierce

Jon: Why do you like to play with him?

Brooklyn: Cuz I like his face. (She gives him a big grin) It's really cute!

NOT YET! She is to young! No thinking boys are cute. I was supposed to have many years before this started happening. Oh well maybe if I don't make a big deal of it she will forget all about it. I can only hope!

A First Ever!

2011-08-08T15:29:00.007-07:00

Just some thoughts and happenings on my day today

-Today was the 1st time I sent a child to school. The beginning of a new era and the ending of one that was very special to me. Brooklyn is an incredible girl. I missed her so much today. I dropped her off and bawled for a good 20 minutes (she never looked back). I went to the gym and as we walked up to the door I missed her helping me with the kids then I missed her opening the door for me as I struggled keeping the boys contained and finally getting the door open. The day went on like this and I realized how much she helps and hardly ever complains.

-My cousin and Jessica went shopping for Brooklyn and picked out the most adorable outfit for her to wear on the 1st day of school. When I laid it out for her to wear she said, "I don't want to wear that!" and decided to wear this outfit instead.

I think it is cute but I am bummed I spent any money on a really cute dress. I should have known better! I decided that in this situation that the book "Parenting with Love and Logic" is right and I need to let her decide. No matter what she is adorable. I love her!

-Brooklyn told me that for her treat when she got home she wanted a cupcake so I went to the store and found on clearance a giant cupcake mold. So I made it and let her decorate it when she got home. I love my new toy and Brooklyn loved her cake.

-I am so sad that I do not get my special Brooklyn time any more but I look forward to getting to spend that time with Allie. I have already started working with her and she knows all her colors and she knows almost all of her shapes. Next numbers and letters.

-I hope I was a good enough mom that I made her ready for this new world that I threw her into. I know she is smart enough. But she has been so sheltered, so adored, and so loved from the second she was born in some ways that would make life easier to handle but in others I wonder if she is ready for the sadness, and the negative things that sometimes this life has to offer.

-Just a few pictures of the boy!

To Be A Kid Again

2011-07-24T20:10:00.004-07:00

I love being a mom! However I love being with my family because they always give me a chance to be a kid again and I love it. This week in Boise has been incredible and so sad at the same time.

I love the late nights, playing zombies out in the fields (most fun game ever), the long talks, the laughing, the joking, watching movies outside on a screen, my mom rubbing my back in church, my nieces playing with my hair, shopping for makeup at a MALL (yes I even got to go to a mall while I was here and buy makeup for the 1st time in I don't know how long), feeling completely free to be myself. That feeling you get when you go home to visit happens whenever, wherever my family gets together. My nieces are grown up, they are kind, smart, funny, and gorgeous. I miss them! Kage is awesome, such a boy, but at the same time so tenderhearted. I love that kid. Max is such a stud. From the way he talks to his sweet hugs I am so going to miss our monthly visits from them. I can't talk about my Mom, Dad, Shawnacy, Lindsey, and Russ without getting teary. As for Brandon and Lindsay I still hold out hope that one day they will be with me in Phoenix. It has been such a rough week watching Lindsey and Paul getting settled and my mom looking for houses. I am being abandoned! They are so far away. I wish I would have taken more advantage when my mom and dad were close. I should have spent every weekend with them. Life is full of regrets right?

With all that said I miss my husband. Everytime I call he is doing another project so he can show me what he has done while we have been gone. He works harder and loves his kids more than any man I know. All I have to do is give him a hug and I know he loves me. For those reasons I will be coming home. I can't wait to see him.

Conclusion. I will miss the feeling of being with my family. But if there ever was a reason to go home I have it. It is because Jon is there and I am happy to do it! I love our home.

Catch Up Again!

2011-07-11T21:44:00.010-07:00

The pictures are going to have to say it all. We have been busy! For record keeping sake I will go back through and put captions under some of the pictures. But you will just have to enjoy the pictures for now. I am too tired. ENJOY!

Funny things my kids say

2011-07-11T08:17:00.001-07:00

Brooklyn - Poppy piana - translation - Pop a pinata

Allie - F*** - translation - freckle (Brooklyn called them pickles)

The boys are getting big and starting to say so much. They say each others names and are pretty close to saying it perfectly. I love how close they are becoming. They wrestle, play, and fight with one another. I love them!

I found my battery charger. More posts soon!

Makeover!

2011-05-06T10:49:00.003-07:00

Amidst all the chaos my sisters and I (Meaning Shawnacy) found time to redo my living room! This is not the final result but I am so in love with so far that I had to post a few pictures. They don't quite do it justice but believe me it is beautiful!

Tanner Adoption Day!

2011-05-04T17:09:00.002-07:00

What an incredible morning! Not that I needed to be told but the moment the judge announced that we were legally a family I was overwhelmed. Look at this boy who wouldn't be thrilled by this! The judge was awesome all my family that was there to support us and once again Della there to love our family. The moment has come and gone but it is a memory that will stay with me forever. I love my son!

These are some pictures I stole from Becca's blog (thanks) there will be many more to come!

First Picture after it was official

We tried to do a family picture and failed miserably but this was the result and I love it!

Picture with the Judge

My sisters and mom. My best friends!

Big Week!

2011-05-03T09:48:00.002-07:00

I am so excited for this week! So many awesome things. My sisters and mom come today. I haven't seen Shawnacy since Thanksgiving so I can't wait to pick her up from the airport tonight. Tanners adoption is tomorrow morning and then a week of awesome events following that. Everyone knows how much this means to me so I won't elaberate. Then Jessica's wedding is another amazing event! I love family! I love that so many of us will be together this week. I have so many things to do today to get ready. My best friend in the whole world just moved up the street and she has taken the kids for the morning. I have to take advantage and get everything done before people start arriving. I couldn't help but write down how excited I am.

Pictures, Pictures, and More Pictures

2011-04-30T12:19:00.009-07:00

Laurens Baptism!

Brooklyn's Old Class at the Dinosaur Museum!

Brandon and Lindsay's Visit

Like Father Like Son! I Love my brother and his Family!

Tyler learning to climb!

This is how I shop!

Allie hurt her knee and of course could not walk. Brooklyn brought her everything she needed. Toys, Blankets, Pillows, Food, Drink! It was quite the clean up for me when Allie forgot she was hurt and back to her old self!

HAPPY EASTER!

Jessicas Bridal Shower! She is so cute. One more week until the big day. I am so happy for her!

Starting to warm up. One of the 1st swims of the year!

Cute!

My Boys are Getting so BIG!

This was my view when I went to the bathroom the other day!

Dress up time!

My Favorite. Sorry Ryan!

My Mommy Is A Hippo

2011-04-27T17:01:00.003-07:00

Remember the popular kids song:

The more we get together!

Well if you don't it goes like this.

Oh, the more we get together,
Together, together,
Oh, the more we get together,
The happier we'll be.

As I was on the phone with my case worker today waiting for some information that she was looking up I heard Brooklyn singing her own version of this song. Think of the characters on Madagascar. The song went something like this:

Oh, Allie is Melman
is Melman is Melman
and Tyler is Marty
is Marty is Marty.

And Algul is Alex
is Alex, is Alex
and Mommy is a Hippo
a Hippo, a Hippo!

What a self-esteem booster! My case worker laughed on the other end of the phone and told me I had to write it down. So here I am sharing this what should be humiliating story. But after having kids nothing really embarrasses you anymore.

The Countdown Begins!

2011-04-20T20:01:00.004-07:00

2 WEEKS that is it 2 WEEKS from today Tanner will officially be ours. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love for this little man of mine. The nights spent in tears wondering if he will be ours are most definitely over. HE IS OURS! He is so special. Each of my children are so unique that our home would not be complete without all of them here together. Now all my prayers and fasts have been answered. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father who through this all has taught me lessons that I could not have learned any other way. I have always felt some sense of control of the things that happened in my life. This was the 1st time I knew that I had no control. I could only believe, only have faith and leave everything up to my Heavenly Father. No decision I made would change the outcome that my Heavenly Father had for Tanner. It was terrifying but it brought me closer to God and made me realize he is in control. He has a plan for each of us and although at times life seems difficult to understand he is mindful of us and loves us. I am grateful that his plan for Tanner is that he is our son. I pray everyday that I will be the mom my children need, that I help them become everything that God intends them to become. I am so grateful for my children. I can not wait until we are all in the temple and we are all sealed together.

The Wonderful Thing About Kids...

2011-04-14T08:12:00.005-07:00

is how they make you feel as a mom. I know moms have there bad moments and they can feel guilt, frustration, anger, etc. However in the next second they can make you feel like you walk on water. I have realized lately that although I am far from perfect my kids really get the best side of me. As I cooked dinner the other night and all the kids were up to the table or in their highchairs they watched me as I sang at the top of my lungs, Raise Your Glass by Pink and then danced all over shaking my booty at them. They were all cracking up. I don't know if it is because my voice is so bad or I am that funny. It is probably a little of both. I love these kids! I have no inhibitions around them. I know me dancing and singing is not socially acceptable. So it is nice, in the comfort of my home and only in front of my children, to let loose and make an idiot of myself. I am grateful for my kids who as for now make me feel like I walk on water. I am dreading teenage years! Will I ever be able to sake my booty then and have them think I rock?

My New Faforite Website is...

2011-04-05T14:27:00.002-07:00

www.mapmyrun.com. I love it. I have been getting back into running and this is the coolest tool ever. All you do is type in the area where you ran and then when the map comes up you pin point your route. You can move the lines to curve with the street you ran. The only draw back has been when I think I have ran 3 miles I come home and realize it was 1.7 miles. Ignorance was bliss!

Another 1st!

2011-03-18T07:56:00.002-07:00

The other day I asked Brooklyn to get me the lotion out of the bathroom for Allie and the Boys. She came back and of course she said she couldn't find it. I told her if I found it she would be in big trouble because I was tired of finding things exactly where I told her they were and then her saying, "Oh I didn't see it, that's funny huh mom." So I went into the bathroom and looked all over in the bathroom, finally I was frustrated enough to give up and Brooklyn looks at me and says, 'I told you so, MOM! Her 1st I told you so and I am sure it will not be her last. Although she did get a little talking to about how she will not talk to me like that I couldn't help but laugh at the end my scolding.

I didn't expect this!

2011-03-17T12:08:00.005-07:00

Allie has done awesome on potty training even while on vacation. I am so happy. However I apparently haven't taught her everything. My mom took her to go potty and as she wiped her pee she quickly continued to take the same toilet paper and with one swift motion also wiped her nose. GROSS! Thanks goodness it was close enough to bath time that we just threw her in the tub and got her all cleaned up. I love this girl. She is so funny!

Adoption Date Set!

2011-03-06T21:09:00.003-07:00

I am so happy to announce that we have an adoption date for this little man of mine. May 4th! a year ago January Tanner was brought to me as the best belated birthday present anyone could ask for. Now I am blessed with being sealed to my little boy for the best mothers day gift anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful everyday for the blessing he is as my son and a brother to his siblings. I think back to the days that I was pregnant with Tyler and I wondered what would be in store for Tanner. I thank my heavenly father everyday that he brought this little boy to me. He is so special. I am so excited for the day my whole family can walk into the temple together and be sealed and I will be his mom forever.

Again!

2011-03-06T21:00:00.002-07:00

Brooklyn has been cracking me up lately. Today was my father-in-laws 64th birthday. Brooklyn made him a card for his present. It had stickers all over it and of course Allie has to pick the stickers off. Here is our conversation

MOM: That is not nice Allie, can you say you are sorry to Brooklyn.

ALLIE: Orwy BooBoo (Sorry Brooklyn)

BROOKLYN: Sorry is not going to cut it this time Al's

Jon and I tried not to laugh as I explained to her that when someone says sorry you accept the apology. I am sad because I know she learned this line on me. I don't say it very often at all but occasionally on a really hard day and I just need to put the kids in their rooms for a minute I do use this line. Just another lesson that I need to do better.

Taking the High Road!

2011-03-05T20:39:00.004-07:00

Brooklyn did a little garage selling this morning with her white grandma (Grandma Smith, yes Brooklyn has color coded her grandparents).

It was silence in the car when Brooklyn breaks it with something she had obviously been thinking about.

"Grandma, my mom says that if someone is mean to you you should just walk away. But I say you PUNCH them first and the you RUN away!"

What is wrong with my sweet little girl. I have to wonder where she came up with it. At least she is admitting that I taught her to take the high road. I should be a little more worried but I am still laughing to hard. I love her buns!

You know your husbands an accountant when...

2011-03-04T08:38:00.002-07:00

your 4 years old asks, "Dad is it tax season now?"

COUNTERPRODUCTIVE

2011-02-28T09:50:00.011-07:00

Jon used this word yesterday and I love it. I hadn't heard it in a long time and I laughed out loud when he said it. This word describes my everyday cleaning!

Sudden Reminders!

2011-02-28T09:50:00.008-07:00

I called a friend this morning and she told me her cousin has had custody of a little girl they were confident that they would adopt only to find out this week that CPS would be taking her out of there home with-in the week.

Several things ran through my mind as I heard this story. The first is an overwhelming sadness for this woman. That old ache in my chest returned as I remembered the days that I thought I might receive that same phone call and someone would show up at my door to take part of me away with them. She is experiencing my worst nightmare come true. I couldn't help but cry for her. Then I felt even more sad for her because through that difficult time for me I had my other children to hug and comfort me.

My best friend then reminded me how grateful I should be, and I am. She said that her cousins story reminded her of what a miracle my story is. It is really my lives miracle. People say to me all the time how lucky my kids are. I always laugh and think if they only new stories like this woman having 4 children in her home and each of them taken back out. Each time with the hope that they would be theirs, calling them mom and dad. But only disappointment each time. Then my story which everyone knows. They would realize that I was the blessed one, and I pray that this woman will be blessed with a baby as well.

I am grateful for these sudden reminders that make me ponder. I think back to the day that I was pregnant with Brooklyn and Jon took his job at Owens and Bondell, we met Della for the first time. I know that the Lord had a plan for us way back then. He knew Della would play a enormous role in our lives. I am hopeful that this woman has a child brought into her life like my kiddos were brought into mine.

He does it again!

2011-02-26T13:31:00.003-07:00

At the risk of making my blog one of those blogs that sound like that girls life is way to good to be true I've decided to post this anyway. Jon has been sick as a dog for the last few days. Yesterday he even stayed home from work. I can only recall him doing that once or twice in our entire marriage and with this being Tax season it is a big deal. I felt so bad for him that I just had him sleep all day. Seriously for over 30 hours he could not get out of bed. He drifted in and out of sleep. So, he must have heard some of what the day in the life of me was like.

Example: Doing laundry-

Fold 2 pieces of laundry
Brake up a fight
Fold 2 more pieces of laundry
Grab a drink for one of the girls and even though they just had one 5 min. ago they will die without another one, but I realize it is not worth the argument
Fold 2 more pieces of laundry
The boys see the girls with a drink and start ripping it from their hands, the girls scream, I try to find clean sippy cups to give them. and then I get 2 min. of peace.
Bound and determined to get the laundry done I ignore any sounds for the next 2 minutes and finish folding the laundry.
I start to go upstairs to put laundry away as I step over the gate to start up the stairs all 3 little ones chase after me and start screaming because they want to come. Generally I say forget it and just put the clean laundry on the stairs and decide to put it away later but today I have a weeks worth piled up so I drag all the kids upstairs with me and start putting away the laundry.
After hanging 2 articles of clothing I hear screaming and break up what ever was going on.
etc..etc...etc...

So I guess after hearing what my days are like and not being able to help Jon thought pretty highly of me. I love it when he looks at me with amazement. So when he woke up this morning his comments made me feel like a million bucks. "I don't know how you do it babe.", "You can't get sick cuz your the most important one here." He also decided that he was going to by me a vitamixer. I have wanted one of those for as long as we have been married. I haven't decided if I will let him by me one or not but I still feel good that he thinks that my job at home is hard enough that he wants to relieve some of my burden by buying me a vitamixer that will help with dinners. I am so grateful for my awesome husband!

Disclaimer:

As I read over this I realized that I made it seem like my kids are unbearable. That is not the case. This was just a bad moment in a bundle of moments where Allie says, "I yuh you mommy" (I love you mommy). Asking Brooklyn don't you want to play with your friends. Brooklyn says, "No Just Allie and my brothers!" These girls melt my heart. Then the boys who scream for attention and I sit down and give them a hug and I get nothing but laughs and hugs. My children are amazing too!

Schools Out...

2011-02-23T08:50:00.003-07:00

...for now. Jon just finished his first class as he is working towards his goal of becoming a CPA. I am so proud of him. He works so hard. He loves his kids and the kids love him. He walks in the door and the excitement of waiting for him all day erupts into high pitched screams from my girls and big smiles from my boys. After the excitement dies down he helps with bath, pajamas, and bed time. Then he spends time helping me clean up and finally hits the books. He comes to bed sometime between 11:00 and 1:00. Then he wakes up the next morning with the boys and helps me get the day started. Then he does it all over again. I love this guy.

Up next - Tax season. Yeah!!!

Found It!

2011-02-11T16:40:00.010-07:00

I had lost my Chord to download pictures in the move and found it yesterday. Here is a picture overload. It includes Christmas, Vacations - Bio dome, Tombstone, etc., Josh and Tiffy's visit, and others that I can not remember at this moment. Just a bunch of pictures.

Props toTiffy

2011-02-11T16:33:00.002-07:00

I know that I am not very good, OK horrible, at leaving comments on blogs. But I love Biffers for the fact that I don't think I have ever posted anything that she hasn't left a comment on. Thanks Tiffy for caring so much and leaving our family loving messages. You make me feel special. I look forward to them. It can get lonely out here and I look forward to what you write. You rock!

A Snag in Potty Training

2011-02-11T09:19:00.005-07:00

Allie has been a dream so far to potty train. She has not had a accident since Tuesday. I thought it was going to be smooth sailing from here but we hit a snag. I never thought that my biggest problem with potty training would be no underwear her size. Seriously! Jon recommended buying underwear you put on baby dolls and then wondered if they had a small and skinny shop for her that we could find something that would work. I usually wouldn't put pictures of my kids in undies but I figured these are more modest than a pair of shorts. I guess I should me happy granny pants from day 1.

I put this one on here because pictures like this one simply make me happy!

Cancer Sucks!

2011-02-08T18:21:00.010-07:00

I have seen many T-Shirts, Hats, Mugs, etc. with this saying on it over the last week and I have to say I totally agree! Cancer Sucks.

I have not dared to start blogging about Lana because I do not feel that I am capable of putting into words what I think and feel. Not that this is about me but I don't think I can do Lana justice in a simple post on my blog. But here is my attempt. Lana was diagnosed with stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. What a devastating blow to her and to everyone who has ever had the privilege of meeting her. My heart breaks for the struggle that Ben and her will have to go through over the next few months while they fight this (and win.) It is funny how you never know how important someone is to you until something like this happens. Lana and I didn't see each other very often but every time I think about her even before all this happened it was with awe and amazement. She is simply incredible. So as I sit and think about the fight she has ahead of her all I can think of is reasons I know that she is going to beat it. So here is my top 10 reasons Lana is going to beat it:

1) Lana's optimism- It is unmatched by anyone I know. At times when anyone would be discouraged Lana rises above it. She smiles when others cry. She perseveres where others would give up.

2) Ben, Matthew, and Andrew- Her reasons for the fight. Lana loves all her boys!

3) Pam - Lana's mom who is there to nurse Lana back to health, is there for a shoulder to cry on, to help wake up with the babies in the middle of the night, the list could go on and on. Thank you Pam and to everyone else who is willing to help.

4) Friends and Family - Lana's love of being around her family and friends. It will be another driving force that will keep her fighting.

5) Lana's smarts - Lana knows how to take care of herself. She knows when she needs help, she knows when she can do things on her own. Being a nurse she knows what she needs to do to get better and she is smart enough to do it.

6) Lana's Health - Lana is one of the healthiest people I know. She eats right and exercises. She is so well balanced in her everyday living and I know her lifestyle will help her kick this cancer to the curb!

7) Lana's Kindness - In all the time I have known Lana I have never heard her say one negative thing about anyone or anything. This is the reason she has such a great support system. There was a quote that came to my mind as I thought of how sweet Lana is.

Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
Margaret D. Nadauld
Sounds like Lana to me!

8) Lana's Doctors - Once again Lana's smarts have kicked in and by the sounds of it she has found herself a great oncologist. Nothing but praises for her by Lana. She has pushed for tests to be done faster, her port to be put in earlier, etc. I am so grateful for her. I'll need to write her a thank you letter for taking care of our girl.

9) Lana's Sense of Humor -To Lana everyone is funny. It is great. I know I am not the wittiest person in the world but when I am with Lana she laughs at my lamest attempts to be funny and makes me feel like I should be a stand up comedian. She is always laughing and there is no better medicine!

10) Because it is Lana - Lana is needed, not only wanted. She is loved. She is a one of a kind who stands out. She is a leader. She has to know the world needs more people like this.

Top 10! I can't think of anything she has against her. She will beat this. I love you Lana!

Losing My Mind!

2011-01-28T12:19:00.004-07:00

Yesterday was one of those days that I wished I could just have a do over. I started off thinking it would be a great day. I had said my prayers read my scriptures and I got my first good night sleep in days. Then there was the calm before the storm. Literally! I was talking to my mom on the phone and I said to her, "It is a little quiet in here I better get off the phone and see what is going on." That was the "calm" the "storm" came when I found them in my bathroom with my lipstick and make-up all over. It was a timeout for both of them.

I continued to clean up the downstairs and after about 10 minutes Brooklyn comes down and says, "Mom, there was a little accident." I followed Brooklyn to her room. The accident was Brooklyn and Allie taking every drawer out of her Dresser and then tipping it over so it was ready to crush anyone who happened to touch it next. "Storm" #2 had arrived!

After cleaning that up I come downstairs to find the boys had poured out the entire content of my diaper bag all over the living room I had just cleaned. Instead of "Storm" #3 a flood of tears ran down my face as I called my husband to have him comfort me over the phone. Then I called my mom who was ready to drive to phoenix that very moment to relieve a little of my stress and take a couple kids back home with her. I love my mom!

But with no more time to dwell on my misery we all headed for a Dr. appointment. It was at the end of the appointment that I realized I am losing my mind. I was loading up the kids into the car and as I looked at Brooklyn I realized her underwear were on the outside of her leggings. HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THIS? It wasn't like her shirt was so long it covered it. She didn't have a sweater wrapped around her waste. The underwear and leggings weren't even the same color. The only logical explanation is that kids make you crazy.
I sat around that whole day feeling totally bummed. Then last night I read a friends blog and I realized how blessed I am. She has had several miscarriages and just recently experienced another. I felt her heartache as I read the words she wrote about the days spent in tears and the aching in your chest even now it makes me teary remembering what those days felt like. It was just the reminder I needed to realize how amazing my life is. I guess my prayers did work after all, even though once again it was in an unexpected way.

One Proud Mama!

2011-01-25T16:55:00.004-07:00

I gave my kids dinner tonight and went into the other room to get something and overheard Brooklyn saying a sweet prayer. I told her and Allie I was proud of them for making sure the prayer was said and Brooklyn told me that Allie reminded her. She is our prayer monitor these days. We don't put anything in our mouths without Allie folding her arms to remind us to pray. I am so thankful for my kids who are always teaching me and reminding me to pray. I thought I was supposed to be teaching them.

Showered With Compliments

2011-01-15T21:05:00.002-07:00

Yesterday Brooklyn was playing with her awesome friends. After playing outside for awhile she came in with a beautiful handful or red flowers and said to me, "Mom these are pretty just like your lips." Needless to say the hugs and kisses she got for that one still haven't stopped.

Today on our way home from visiting family and working hard to clean up our old home I asked Brooklyn what her favorite part of the day was. She answered, "Playing with daddy!" I told her I loved to be with daddy to. Then she said, "My other favorite was with you."

She knows how to make her mom feel special. I love my kids!

Tid-Bits

2011-01-14T14:47:00.003-07:00

I have so much to blog about and so little time. It will be easier when I have wireless internet. Yes I am spoiled like that. So here are just a few of the happenings with pictures to come.

-Josh and Tiffy came over Christmas and the visit was even better than I imagined. We had such an amazing time. They were here for 3 weeks and I have a ton of pictures just for the time spent with them.

-We spent Christmas up in Page and got to see my awesome family. Home Sweet Home. There is nothing like it.

-We moved into our new home. Jon's family rocked! We are getting settled but it is taking up a lot of our time. That is most of the reason I have not blogged or showered lately.

-I finally showered this afternoon and Brooklyn says to me, "Why do we go to church today cuz we look pretty?" At least I know I can still look pretty.

-Jon started back to school. So Sad ):

-Tanner took his first steps on Sunday and is becoming a pro quickly. My last baby walking! Time for another? I think not.

-Allie is starting to cut out her nap time. I thought this would be a sad thing but her play time with Brooklyn is awesome and when Brooklyn goes to school I am excited to give her one on one attention without feeling like I am neglecting the other kiddos.

-I miss my friends! Which is weird for me. I guess that says how awesome my friends are.

I have so much more but a strange thing is happening. My kids are crying and screaming. I love being a mom. I promise pictures soon

Blog Worthy

2010-12-14T09:38:00.003-07:00

I thought it was blog worthy just to let everyone know that Tyler took his first step on Thursday Dec. 9th. I don't have video yet But will work on getting some over the next week or so. I am one proud mom.

Inspection is over!

2010-12-12T11:40:00.002-07:00

So yesterday was the inspection on our new home. Everything looked great and it made us feel more at ease and more confident in the purchase. I took some more pictures of the inside. I really love this home. The lay out could not be any better. I see us living in this home for a long time.

New Home!

2010-12-09T13:18:00.003-07:00

So we have been house hunting for a while. Finally we have had an offer accepted by the bank on this beautiful home. We are so excited. We have the inspection this upcoming Saturday. As long as everything goes well this home should be ours. I am so happy.

The updated costumes of Brooklyn!

2010-12-09T13:04:00.002-07:00

Brooklyn saw the Bee Movie and insists on being a Bee. Here are some of her bee outfits.

She is one of a kind

POTTY TRAINING BEGINS

2010-11-30T19:07:00.002-07:00

Allie has been extremely interested in the potty lately and today she went pee pee on it for the first time. I am such a proud mama.

Catching Up!

2010-11-30T09:39:00.010-07:00

I have not blogged in so long. Things have been so crazy. They still are, so I am going to post pictures and you can see for your self our life over the last little while!

Here are pictures of our girls trip to San Fransisco. To put it simply it was amazing! Great food, beautiful sights, and awesome company.

When I got home it was quickly Halloween. With no costumes and Brooklyn changing her mind every minute on what she wanted to be it was not easy getting ready for the holiday. I finally got it together and they were all very cute.

Trick or Treating and 2 church parties were fun but I was definitely ready for that holiday to end.

Here are just some random pictures of the Kiddo's. I know I am boring and not very informative but really I am just proud that I am blogging at all.

We spent the week of Thanksgiving up in Boise. I was spoiled rotten. Shawnacy and her family took care of my kids the whole time. They bathed, played and fed them, they changed their diapers, got them dressed. It was such a great break, I can not tell you how grateful I was and how much it helped.

It was so cold while we were there and we even got some snow.

Finally we were traveling all day on Allies birthday so we finally got to celebrate last night at Peter Piper Pizza. I think she had a great time and she has been playing with her teapot all morning.

Although our anniversary was on Sunday we were both to exhausted to celebrate it. We now head into the Christmas season. A list of things we are doing include - Primary Party, Ward party, Celebrating our anniversary, Sea World, and Christmas in Page. Jon wants to fit Tomb Stone in there somewhere. Luckily I am done with my Christmas shopping!
Right after Christmas is Tyler's, Tanner's, and My Birthday. I never thought I would say this while living in Phoenix but I am missing summer. Only 1 Birthday to celebrate and holidays with no presents. It sounds pretty nice!

What not to say!

2010-09-13T08:08:00.002-07:00

Today Brooklyn and I went on a walk down the street to see our awesome neighbor Jim. The kids love going to see him because he gives them a sucker every time. As Jim and I were talking Brooklyn interrupted over and over again, "Jim, Jim, Jim!" Finally he said, "What Brooklyn?" in a kind voice. This was what she had interrupted so many times to tell him. "Um After Tyler came out of my mom's Belly" (This is where I am thinking I am being a brat for my frustration of her interrupting because she is going to say something really sweet.) She finishes with, "he ate my mom's boob!" Now Jim is in his late 70's and Thanks goodness he has a great sense of humor. He laughed and said " Now that was a good one" and "She almost has it right."

Great Weather

2010-09-10T20:24:00.003-07:00

The last 2 days have been great. The weather has been amazing. We have spent almost every second outside and I have loved it. We ate lunch and dinner outside, gone to the park, gone on a lot of walks, and just played in the backyard. We have watched next to no TV and I am so happy. I am such a better mom when I get fresh air. There has been very little frustration on my part and maybe half the time outs. I know that it is supposed to get warm again and I am so sad but it makes me hopeful that soon I will have 8 months of great parenting.

Missing My Family

2010-09-08T10:37:00.003-07:00

My mom, dad, and sisters are all in Boise for a full week enjoying each other. I am very much wishing I could be there. Family is the best! Their is a familiarity with family that I miss. They know what to say to make you happy and the comfort is priceless. I am tired of the heat. I am tired of being cooped up in the house with the kids and having to pester my husband at work making up questions so I can keep him on the phone longer. I need my mom and dad. How ridiculous is that. I am almost 30 years old and have 4 kiddo's of my own and I still am sitting here crying because I need their hugs. I need my sisters (Lindsay included) so we can sit around and laugh about mistakes we've made, dumb things we have said, and the weird things all our children say and do. When you are around family it seems you never need to ask for things they know you need a hug just by the sound of your voice on the phone. They know how to make you feel loved, unconditionally with strange quirks and all. I call my mom, dad and sisters and they say they wish I were there. I know they really mean it. It is nice to be missed. Now I must go because my girls found spray paint in the back yard and somehow (Brooklyn isn't sure how) it got all over them. With Brooklyn having preschool in 30 minutes I have a lot of work cleaning up and loading up kids. So family I miss you so now you can feel special too knowing that you guys are the best and are being thought of. I LOVE YOU!

My little problem solver!

2010-08-30T10:00:00.002-07:00

Brooklyn is really using her critical thinking these days. It is so fun to see the wheels turning. Today she asked me if I could get her back pack that was hanging up on a hook that was way out of her reach. I told her she would have to wait a few minutes because I was feeding the boys. The next time I look over she has the broom in her hand and she was trying to bump it off the hook. When that didn't work she put the broom through the strap that the back pack was hanging by and lifted it off the hook. It was fun to see her work the problem out in her mind and come up with a solution. It is just another thing that shows me how big and independent she is becoming.

On The Move!

2010-08-30T08:15:00.006-07:00

Both my boys are on the move. I don't know if I should be scared or excited. I can not believe how big they are getting. They are everywhere these days! I don't know how I am going to keep up. I will take it one day at a time. I love my boys!

Tanner in action!

Tyler in action!

Oh Sweet Severance!

2010-08-25T10:56:00.005-07:00

I LOVE THIS BOY!

At court yesterday morning we got what we prayed for. Jennifer signed the paperwork and her rights have been severed. I didn't realize how much it had weighed on me until I walked out of the courthouse. It was one of those moments that I again realized how God has had his hand so apparently in my life over the last few years. At least 10 times a day I say a silent prayer of thanks or sit and marvel over the things that have happened to us. As we get closer and closer to the adoption I remember the times I spent holding Tanner in his room sobbing, unable to control it, wondering if at the court case the next day might be the last time I would hold him. Then Jon would come in thinking I was crazy because he always new that in the end he would be ours. But we would say a prayer or if I was alone I would offer a silent prayer and it was only then I was comforted. I knew that no matter what happened it would be okay because God was in control. I remember so many people trying to comfort me with logical reasons of why he couldn't be taken from us and I would try to think it through but in the end it was only a prayer to my Heavenly Father that could comfort me. I am grateful for prayer and for the peace that it brings to me. I am grateful my prayers were answered for Tanner and that I will be the one to love him.

Way To Excited!

2010-08-23T10:32:00.002-07:00

I am ridiculously excited. I feel like a kid at Christmas. It is silly really but tomorrow the final book of the Hunger Games series comes out. "MOCKINGJAY!" I have been waiting for this day! This is the best series ever. I don't know how I am going to control myself and read only when the kids are asleep. But I am determined not to neglect them.

Another Round!

2010-08-23T08:59:00.005-07:00

Here are just some more pictures of our lives over the last few weeks!

These outfits are all ones that my awesome sister Shawnacy gave the kiddo's. They are so cute. I wanted to do a family picture in them and realized it may not be worth it. The kids don't cooperate, the boys drool all over, someone poops and everyone laughs, and mom gets frustrated. So I decided to take pictures of each separately when they were happy. I didn't get nearly as frustrated and I still got some cute shots. I think this is the way I will do it until the kids are older!

Here is daddy reading with the kiddos! I love these pictures.

I just thought this was cute.

Popsicle leftovers! What a mess.

Enjoying Phoenix in it's hottest months. Popsicle's make it bearable

Brooklyn on her first day of preschool this year. Surprise she has loved every second of it.

Little kiddo's in new pajamas. Is there anything cuter?

A Little Anxiety

2010-08-16T07:22:00.002-07:00

Today I go to court again. I am anxious. I usually go to court early in the morning so I don't have time to think about it but today I have to wait until 3:00pm. It is fine it just gives me a few hours to think of things that I might say wrong. This is the first time ever I will talk to Jennifer (the birth vessel for my kiddos.) We are in a mediation to discuss what kind of involvement she can have. I hope she is comfortable with pictures once or twice a year because I know that is all I can give. I hope I remember to call him Riley, I hope that I don't offend her or make her upset, and I hope that she can tell how much I love Tanner and Allie and she decides that this is the best place for them. I realize I am hoping and praying for a lot but I can't help it. I love my Kiddo's

So much done in so little time!

2010-08-04T13:51:00.005-07:00

It does not feel like it has been that long since I have blogged but we have had so much happen. Sickness, vacations, daddy-time, play-time, cleaning, etc. Here are some of our pictures

Sisters enjoying lunch and fashion tips. They are so lucky to have each other.

Betsy and Greg came over this last weekend and trimmed everything up in our yard. We are so grateful. Everything was overgrown and looking messy. Now look at it!

Jon is such an awesome husband and dad I can't even tell you how lucky I always feel. On this particular Sunday I was exhausted. We had had so much company the night before and I could not force myself to clean up that night or get out of bed before 7:00 Sunday morning. When I finally dragged my laziness out of bed I woke up to find the dishes done, everything cleaned up, babies fed and diapers changed. He then took all the kids on a walk and when he got home he built this fort with the girls. I will remember this as one of the best Sunday mornings of my life! It was so peaceful and pleasant. The weather was gorgeous and I simply could not ask for more!

Brooklyn in another one of her ensembles. She is definitely an original!

Here is my little girl with an earache. She ended up having swimmers ear but I just thought she looked so sweet after she finally fell asleep I had to snap a picture

I walked in the other day to find that Allie and Brooklyn had dragged the boys under the dining room table and barricaded everyone inside. They were all so cute in the pajamas I had to snap a pictures

I finally got a cute shot of all of them in a crib together. They are so happy and cute!

My cousin Jessica and I went 4 wheeling while on vacation at my parents. It was nice to take advantage of them more than a few times while I was there but felt horrible at the end of the week when I was sure we had worn them out completely.

This was one of the times we took advantage and we had a blast. We just need to forget the fact that Jessica nearly broke a few bones when her 4 wheeler nearly toppled on top of her as she crab walked to prevent that from happening. Also the night we got home she got engaged. YEAH! we are so happy for her. We love her so much and we are happy that she is so happy.

In Kanab there was this amazing pool we all went to. It was so much fun. It was just like a miniature water park. Even Allie loved the water this time. It was fantastic. This was all of us going down the little lazy river.

Tanner is a laughing machine! This went on for about 15 minutes.

Allie making the boys laugh!

Little boys and their trucks. They are already obsessed!

Size 4's

2010-07-27T21:44:00.002-07:00

So it has finally happened. Tyler is now in size 4 diapers and Allie is still in size 3. I should stop being surprised by this but I am not.

While we were away this weekend Tyler wet the bed 3 nights in a row. I thought it would be impossible for him to be in size 4's but I was wrong. The last 2 nights I was visiting my family we tried a size 4 and the next morning the bed was dry. This little man is huge! I am so happy I have my little Tanner that is still in size 2's, I need someone not to get big to fast.

Another Day In Court

2010-07-21T11:26:00.005-07:00

I was not able to go to court yesterday. Jon and I had to split up. Jon went to court and I took Tanner to his Dr. appt. I was bummed I was not in court but Jon was very thorough in his explanation of what occurred so I couldn't be to disappointed.

First of all his Dr. appt. went very well. He is so so small I can not believe it. He is in 5% range for weight and the 5% - 10% for height. Then his head circumference in in the 50% range. I love my little boy with a big head.

As for court I feel it was a bitter sweet day. Sweet because I really feel that adoption is a guarantee at this point, but disappointing that we are not there quite yet. Jennifer is wanting a mediation with Jon and I to discuss involvement in his life. Allie is not a discussion because she is already ours! Yeah!!! Jennifer had said that she had requested, from her lawyer, pictures of Allie. We were never aware of any request but that is why she has been angry with us and has been fighting us, trying to send him to the family in New Jersey. The most frustrating thing in all of this is that it could have been resolved just by talking to her. I have no problems sending pictures to her once a year but that is the extent of her involvement. When the kiddo's are 18 they can decide what they want to do and I will support them. We have everything pushed back one month until we meet with Jennifer. We pray that she is okay with the contract that has been drafted by Tanner's attorney. I love that little man and I want to be done with court. But if I was supposed to learn something in everything that has happened over the last few months it is patience. He will be ours soon and his birth certificate will say Tanner William Smith! Our next 2 court dates are on Aug. 16th and Aug 25th. I pray that the next time we must go there is for the adoption. I pray Jennifer's heart will soften towards us and accepts the contract so there are no hard feelings. Lots of prayers between now and then.

Something in common!

2010-07-19T08:04:00.004-07:00

So I have said over and over again that my boys have very little, if anything in common. Well that all changed yesterday much to my dismay. Here are my before and after pictures.

Tyler has NO HAIR! I am so sad. Although it was looking a little messy lately I still loved kissing that full head of hair. I do find comfort in knowing that it will grow back.

We have court for Tanner tomorrow at 8:45. I am of course nervous as always. This is the trial to possibly sever Jennifer's rights and any potential father. I really feel that it can go only 2 ways. 1- Jennifer gives another name for an alleged father, which would mean we go through at least another 6 months of court cases, tears, etc. or they grant the severance and we go straight to adoption. Hmmmm... which one to pray for? I can not wait for the day that he is officially ours. It is so nice with Allie. I make the decisions. Her mom requested pictures of Allie. I was court ordered to send them for Tanner. I didn't have a choice, but with Allie it was up to me. I did send them for 95% selfish reasons. I hope she sees how happy they are together and does what is right for him. My 5% unselfish reason is that I want her to know they are happy and healthy. I will never understand her choices and lifestyle but if I were in her situation I would hope someone would send pictures to me.

2010-07-14T20:23:00.006-07:00

Here are Just a few pictures and videos from
this month.

Here is Allie having a water fun day in the Backyard!

3 Little cuties in a crib. I wish it were 4 but Allie was not up for it!

Is there one similarity between these 2 boys?

My sweet children. It is pictures like these that make me realize how blessed I am!

Crashed in the Bumbo Seats!

Allie's Sweet Moves!

Our Prediction Came True!

2010-07-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

When Tyler was born Jon and I took a guess about how long it will take him to be in the same size diapers as Allie. We guessed Tyler would be between 6 and 8 months. Well yesterday was the day it happened. Tyler is 6 months and 5 days. He had leaked out of 3 size 2 diapers so we finally figured out he needed the next size up. He is so big and Allie is so little. They are just over 1 year apart and in the same size diapers. We go to the Dr. pretty soon and I am anxious to see what the difference is in weight. My next guess is that Tyler is going to weigh more at their appointments. We will see this month!

A Golden Birthday

2010-07-05T11:08:00.003-07:00

Brooklyn turned 4 years old on the 4th of July and she was so Happy! She has been so excited for her birthday for a while now and she could not have been any more cute. She was so sweet. She was excited about her Buzz and Woody she got from both sets of Grandparents (Thank You) and the turtle from Daddy. So needless to say nothing I got her competed with those presents. She was actually giving them away. She told us, "Allie needs a present to open." so she gave her a present and let her keep it. I don't know if this says how sweet my little girl is or how crappy of a present giver I am. Either way I am proud of my little girl. She is so good to her brothers and sister, she is helpful to me, she is loving to all of us, she is happy and enjoys life more than anyone I know. She is grateful for every little thing (like sugar cereals and Popsicles), she wakes up excited for the day and goes to bed excited to wake up. I love her so much and can't believe my little girls is 4.

You reall need to follow WHAT better?

2010-07-01T20:56:00.002-07:00

The other day Brooklyn was really struggling with her listening skills and as a result had many privileges taken away. Throughout the day I would say things to her like, "Why are you not listening.", "You need to pay attention.", etc. So it was no surprise to me that while I was bathing the boys and the girls were playing in the toy room Brooklyn started playing mom to Allie and the conversation went something like this.

Brooklyn: Allie, you are not being a good listener today.

Allie: Dah!

B: You are not allowed to play the wii anymore today.

A: Dah!

B: If you can't listen no more TV and no Kate and Karina's!

A: Dah!

B: You really need to follow erections better.

We quickly corrected her pronunciation of the word direction and I was glad this mix up of words happened at home and not in primary. I love this girl!

Pictures Pictures and More Pictures!

2010-06-29T08:40:00.007-07:00

For time and all eternity!
These are pictures at the sealing and blessing !
I can not tell you how blessed we felt this day!
Allie was so sweet for both of these events. Cuddling up
to my mom and Jon. Holding our hands. She was such an angel.
She is my sweet little girl and now always will be. Nothing can
separate our family. It is a comforting thought.

Our support system. Amazing family and friends!

Our family!

She is so adorable!

There is so much I could say about
Della, Jim and their family. I love them! They
amaze me. They are selfless, loving, and as I always
say to my husband they just get it. They get what
is important in life. My admiration continues to
grow the more time I spend with them.
Unfortunately I didn't take pictures of our trip to Prescott
with their family, but wow what a great time we had.
They are so much fun and they know how to cook! I
feel blessed when we get to spend time with them.
(Not just because of the food.)
I am grateful that I inherited another family
along with Allie.

It's A Party! Thanks for the Support!
There were many more not pictured.
We appreciate everyone who was so great
during all of this!

Ugly Cake

Pretty Cake

June 16th, 2010. We are anxiously awaiting our hearing!

It's Official -Alexis Jane Smith!

These are the great Case Workers that were willing to
think outside the box and make this happen.
What can I say but Thank You!

Needing to update!

2010-06-25T08:10:00.002-07:00

I have been so busy with such awesome and not so awesome events (like looking for a turtle for 3 1/2 hours) I have not had time to blog, but I promise it is coming! Just a quick story- we were shopping yesterday and Allie charmed the necklace off of this lady. Literally! Allie snuggled her and played with her necklace and when it was time to go Allie cried and the lady started to take off her necklace to give to her. I politely rejected the offer of this sweet lady but it is nice that people thing your kids are so cute as well!

TODAY IS THE DAY!

2010-06-16T06:24:00.002-07:00

There is no days left. Today is the day. Allies is ours! Poor kid is stuck with us. Busy morning today we have to be at the courthouse by 9:00. But I couldn't help writing how excited I am. Pictures to come!

1 day and counting!

2010-06-15T06:34:00.003-07:00

Just a little over 24 hours until Allie's name will be Alexis Jane Smith!

Also, we got a phone call for Tanner's case worker last night. She informed us that the paternity test for the alleged father came back. The results came back negative! He is not the father. I decided this was a great thing when I called aunt Della and she was screaming with excitement on the other end of the line and then told me all the reasons this is the best scenario. As much as I would like to have a name for Tanner about who his father is I am relieved for many reasons it is not him. So here is to hoping that someday very soon Tanner will also have the legal name of Smith, just like his sisters and brother.

2 days and counting!

2010-06-14T09:37:00.001-07:00

2 DAYS UNTIL ALLIE IS OFFICIALLY OURS!

3 days and counting!

2010-06-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

3 DAYS UNTIL ALLIE IS OFFICIALLY OURS!

4 days and counting!

2010-06-12T15:17:00.001-07:00

4 DAYS UNTIL ALLIE IS OFFICIALLY OURS!

A Knot In My Stomach

2010-06-11T22:52:00.004-07:00

So this is such a busy month. I have one emotional event after another. They will be some of the Happiest moments of my life and some of the most gut wrenching. So here it is:

Allies adoption - June 16th, Happiest moment

CPS Meeting on Tanner - June 18th, Gut Wrenching - Not allowed to go!

Della's Family Reunion - June 18th - June 20th - Oh my gosh! Excited!

Court date for Tanner - June 22nd, absolutely gut wrenching - Will be attending!

Foster Review Board Meeting - June 24th, Must attend. Have to answer a lot of questions - Nothing compared to 2 previous dates though.

Temple Sealing to Allie - June 26th, What a beautiful day!

Allie's baby blessing - June 27th, Blessed to be part of this day!

Brooklyn's Birthday - July 4th, Mixed emotions - Sad she will be 4, proud she is getting so big!

I think this will be a month full of tears - hopefully of happiness and relief.

I also found out today that Tanner's alleged father did show for the paternity test. We were originally told he was a no show but we were miss informed. The results should come back with in the next week or week and a half. I looked up the alleged father online again today and with sadness I must admit there are some similarities. Jon says he still feels that it is not him, I am not to sure. All I know is that I love that little guy with all my heart. It scares me that the alleged father is showing such follow through. He has shown to court, contacted the case worker when needed, and showed for the paternity test when asked. I know he has problems but as Tanner's mom I worry. Jon has such faith and never worries or questions whether Tanner will be ours. I wish I were that strong. Days like this I can't help but think of anything else. I stress, question, worry and think through all scenarios over and over again. Like it matters, like anything I could do would change anything. I have prayed continually for Tanner. I pray that he stays in our home and family so I can give him the love he deserves. But if I have learned anything in the last year it is that the Lord is totally in control. I will trust him. He is the only one that can comfort me these days. I will continue to pray for the day that we are in court with Tanner so that he too will have our last name and I will continue to trust our Heavenly Father. I know he loves us. He loves Tanner and is very mindful of him. I am grateful that I know this. For the events in my life (both good and bad) over the last few years that have taught me this.

It is so late and I have babies that get up early. So Goodnight!

5 days and counting!

2010-06-11T06:56:00.002-07:00

5 DAYS UNTIL ALLIE IS OFFICIALLY OURS!

Spit Up, Spit Up, and more Spit Up

2010-06-09T19:18:00.002-07:00

I am cleaning it all day long. I feed them and they spit up, I sit them up and they spit up, I lay them on their tummy and they spit up, I put them in their car-seat and they spit up, I bathe them and after they are all clean and smelling fantastic from all the spit up of the day, what do they do, they spit-up. I think you get the picture. Yes I am tired of it. When do they get over this again? I can't wait.

It is funny though. This afternoon I had screaming, spitty kids. I thought I was going to go nuts, (which is almost a daily occurrence) but I went to lay them in their beds for the night I didn't want to put them down. I just wanted to hold them and tell them how much I love them. I love my children! They are so much work but every second is worth it. The work has made me appreciate being a mom even more.

Faith of a Child

2010-06-04T15:29:00.007-07:00

I was at the mall today with my fantastic friend Merry and her kiddo's and we had an awesome time. We shopped, ate, and played all day long. While we were looking for Allie's perfect adoption day dress Merry was so sweetly entertaining all my children. She was walking the boys in the stroller and said to Brooklyn, "Aren't you so lucky to have 2 brothers!" My sweet little girl replied, "No, Jesus wants me to have 2 brothers."

This melted my heart for 2 reasons. #1 because it reminds me how much she loves her brothers and #2 because it quieted any doubts that may be creeping in to my mind about Tanner not being legally ours someday, because after all Jesus does want Brooklyn to have 2 brothers.

Another quick Brooklyn story that has nothing to do with her Faith -

We were eating in the food court and Brooklyn looked up over her bench at the guy behind her and said, "Your skin is black." What a sweet man who laughed at the innocence of a child. I really appreciate him for that. I wasn't there when it happened, again she was with my friend Merry while I was getting my food. After Merry told me the story she said I didn't know what to say. My thought was this, "Yes his skin is black, everyone has different color skin isn't that cool, That is how Jesus made us?" (elementary Sunday school answer, right?) How do I turn that into a teaching lesson that Jesus loves everyone no matter what there skin color, whether they have tattoos and piercings all over, tall , short, skinny, chubby? You get the point. How do I teach them so they really understands? I know I am asking to solve a problem that has been around since the beginning of time. But I want to raise my children with no prejudices to appearances and to surround themselves with good people with no exceptions. How do I teach them this quality?

Recognized!

2010-06-04T09:29:00.003-07:00

I decided to run to Wal-mart this morning before Jon went to work so I could go kid free. It was amazing. I got in and out in about 15 minutes. I was at the check out line putting the items on the belt and the cashier looked up at me and said, "Where are your kids?" After just a second wondering how she knew that I had kids I said, "Oh you remember me!" which she replied, "Yeah, you have a lot of cute kids." I didn't know if I should be flattered or disturbed that she remembered who I was. But she was very nice so I will choose to be flattered!

In my high school years sports defined me. People use to say, "Oh yeah, your that basketball or volleyball player." I wondered if I would ever be defined by anything again. I guess I am. I am now "That Lady With A Lot Of Kids." I'm sure I will be going through another identity crisis in eighteen years when all the kids are out of the house and I am not that lady anymore. I wonder what I will be then. Hopefully I will be known as, "That Good Looking Granny!"

Just a quick update!

2010-05-31T11:23:00.003-07:00

I got a call from CPS last week and they told me Tanner's alleged father did not show for his paternity test. He does get several more chances so this will really just postpone everything. The Lord is really teaching me patience and I am getting better at it I think! Next lesson will be humility I guess.

Also it will be just over 2 weeks until we are at the courthouse celebrating that Allie is legally ours. We are overwhelmed with excitement for that day!

Picture overload!

2010-05-31T10:21:00.008-07:00

I had lost my camera and finally found it just the other day. I feel like my kiddos have grown to quickly. Here is the proof. They are all so stinking cute.

Swim day and Jared and Jill's -

Brooklyn and Allie enjoying the outdoors-

Tyler and Tanner's first time in the pool.

Tyler enjoying the water! He really loved it.

Tanner hating water! Poor little guy. Maybe he'll like it next time!

Just relaxing in the back yard - Brooklyn in her cowgirl gear!

Tanner's perfect little face- He is so cute!

My new favorite picture of Tyler. I love his smile

A video of Tanner. I hope it works

My Peacemaker

2010-05-26T20:43:00.002-07:00

Tanner is - simply put - my peacemaker. The second I pick him up I simply feel more at ease. I can not explain it but it is a unique quality in our home. From the constant "I wants" from my sweet girls (they are at that age) and Tyler struggling more days than not Tanner is my soothing little boy. He rarely cries, he smiles constantly. Today I walked in to make sure he was still sleeping and he was actually laughing in his sleep. I don't think he could be any more special. All my other kiddo's have amazing unique qualities as well but Tanner's is the one that I needed today. Sometimes I need Brooklyn's sense of humor, Allies unbelievably sweet hugs that seem to come at just the right moment, and Tyler's constant need for my attention (it is nice to be needed). I love my kiddo's so much and I thank the Lord everyday for them. I have learned so much over the last year and I have them and my husband to thank for it.

Just a Little Down!

2010-05-18T12:15:00.002-07:00

It is not that big of a deal but today is the day that we take Tanner in for DNA testing to see if the alleged father is really his biological parent. I have been pretending this day wouldn't come now here it is. I have so many mixed emotions. What do I want the outcome to be(I know it is not up to me) but I don't know what to pray for. So many decisions will be made based upon this test. However I pray that the ultimate decision will keep my little Buddah Boy in our home.

I am happy things are moving along. I am scared things may change. I am sad that I have to do this. It hurts I can not make these decisions, he is my little boy. I would do the test anyway. He deserves to have a name of his biological parent but I hate being told that I have no choice.

I shouldn't have blogged when I started I was just a little sad now I am so teary. Jon always tells me I live in a fantasy land and it is so true. I prefer not to think about CPS, Biological Parents, DNA tests, Adoptive families from New Jersey, etc. When I actually sit down and write and think about reality it hurts. I will stop now and in 3 hours I will return to may fantastic fantasy world and not return to reality until we get the results of the test.

Tarzan

2010-05-14T23:49:00.003-07:00

Today Brooklyn was holding Tanner while he was crying. I was making a bottle and came around the corner and heard Brooklyn singing the Tarzan song to try to make him feel better.

Just stop your crying it will be alright.
(Then she grabs his hand)
Take my hand and hold it tight.
(Then hugging him protectively)
I will protect you from all around you.
I will be hear don't you cry.

My sweet little girl loves her brothers and is so sweet with them. She is so happy these days. She is thriving with all her siblings. Today we went to the park and as we were driving I asked if she wanted to invite someone or if we should just go and she could play with Allie. She chose her sister! They played for 2 hours with out fighting once. They play all day- they are built in friends for eachother and they make me so happy as I watch them.

Hairy Back?

2010-04-28T19:35:00.003-07:00

Brooklyn is in Page visiting her cousins, grandparents, etc. She was with Lindsay when her husband Paul went into the store and here is there conversation!

Brooklyn: Is Paul Max's dad?
Lindsey: Yep!
B: Is he my dad?
L: No, who is you dad?
B: My dad is Daddy! He has a hairy back!

I had to laugh because Jon is the least hairy man I know. I don't know where she comes up with this stuff but I hope it doesn't stop!

Sweet Sweet Sound

2010-04-28T18:48:00.001-07:00

Allie called me "MOM" for the first time today. She has said it about 20 times since so I know that it was not random. We have been working on this for over a month now. I am so happy. My little girl is becoming so stinkin sweet I can hardly stand it. She covers her eye's and gets so excited when we say, "Where's Allie?" This is such a fun time. She is so happy these days and it makes me happy. Life is good!

Oh Happy Day!

2010-04-27T08:13:00.005-07:00

I got a phone call last night from CPS and what a great phone call it was. I can not express my gratitude and excitement. Allie has an official adoption date. JUNE 16th!!! The judge will sign the final paperwork and her name will officially be Alexis Jane Smith. Although since the day I first held her I knew she was mine it will now be legal. I will have a birth cetificate for her with Jon and my name on it. She will have a social security card with Smith on it just like her mom and dad. Jon will be able to give her her babies blessing, and we will be able to be sealed together in the temple. All these things I have hoped for since the first time she came into our home and now it is a reality. I can not say much more right now without getting emotional and since I have 4 kids to take care of I don'thave time for that. But I have a couple Thank you's to give first to Della, my admiration and gratitude is beyond words. We all love you and your family so much. You are such an example to me and I am grateful everyday that Allie has brought our families together. I have learned so much about life and what is important from you. We look forward to many wonderful times with your family. We love you! Also to my friends and family who have been so thoughtful. There are to many to name but they have been there whenever there was a need. You are all the best. Finally to my Heavenly Father. I have had a prayer in my heart since the day that Allie was brought into our home that this day would come. He has answered prayer after prayer of mine. He has given me peace when I thought it was impossible to be peaceful. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and is mindful of me. I pray I am the mom to my children that he wants me to be.
I am so happy. I love my Kiddo's and Husband so much. I am so excited for June 16th. It will beat out April 15th and Christmas for sure.(Previous Post)

April 15th or Christmas day?

2010-04-15T10:49:00.004-07:00

Which one of these are better to me? This year April 15th hands down. Tax season has ended and I have a husband again. I am so proud of my hubby. He has worked so hard this tax season. Leaving by 7:30 and not coming home until 9:30 or later and still staying up to feed the boys and helping with the dishes. I think I am a pretty lucky girl. Now I get him for more than just one hour a day and I can't wait. YEAH for April 15th. Merry Christmas to me.

Discovering the Beatles

2010-04-07T14:05:00.003-07:00

Last night on American Idol was Lennon and McCarthy night and I LOVED it. I know this is lame but growing up in Page AZ has made my knowledge base about music pretty close to non existant. Often Jon and I will be in the car and I will hear a song I like and I ask who sings this. I think it is a current artist and Jon rolls his eyes and laughs at me, tells me in an adoring way that I am a total wierdo and continues to tell me it was a classic song a few decades back by either The Beatles, Michael Jackson, or any other huge name that everybody and their dog has heard of. So as I watched American Idol last night I fell in love with the song "Let it Be." It is now my favorite song and me being the "Wierdo" that I am told Jon that this was a Beatles song I have never heard before and he had to listen to it. As we listened to it he told me I was a wierdo and yes it was indeed a very popular Beatles song. Along with 3 or 4 others I loved and had never heard. So yes this is just another area of my life that my cute husband upstages me in. I am so lucky to have a husband who is so smart and musically knowledgable. But I bet I could still beat him in a little one on one. But we won't tell him that!

Just Like Brooklyn!

2010-03-05T12:20:00.004-07:00

Can you believe it Brooklyn got sent to her room because she was being mean to Allie. I know it is shocking but it is true. After about 2 minutes of tears because she also got her treat taken away she opened her bedroom door and says, "Mom I wanna give you a hug and a kiss." I tell her okay (I can never resist those) but that she has to go right back to her room. After the hug and the kiss she walks back to her room and stops at her door and says, "I already still love you though mom." What a little stink. Like she is forgiving me because I did something wrong. For putting her in a time out, or taking away a treat, or whatever else I am sure I did that she did not like. What can I say! She still didn't get her treat but after a nice apology I did let her out of her room. I love that girl.

Loving the Month of March!

2010-03-05T09:44:00.004-07:00

I am being spoiled rotten this month with visitors. I was so sad when my brother and his family left and I thought March would be depressing. But now I have visitors and trips galore so I know it is going to be a great month. 1st my cousin Jessica and I get to go up to Page for a relaxing few days. Going to Page is always so fun I don't know why I don't do it more often. We eat great food, go on nice walks, and enjoy the beautiful scenery. Then I come home and my best friend in the whole world EMILY is coming to meet my 3 new kids. She made my day yesterday when she called and told me that she was coming. Between seeing her sweet family and my sister Shawnacy and her family meeting me in Page at the end of the month it is hard not to be anything but thrilled these days. This will be the 1st time they meet Allie, Tyler, and Tanner. March will be a great month!

A First Smile

2010-03-04T11:52:00.002-07:00

Is there anything better than your babies first smile. Tyler gave me his first smile today and I am sure that Tanner will soon follow. Tyler seems like such a sad little man so I got a little teary when he looked up and gave me such a bright smile. Maybe I am not doing as bad of a job as I sometimes think. It is those moments that make all the hard work definitely worth it. My little man is getting so big. This marks all the rest of his first. They start to grow so quick from here on. I hope I take the time to enjoy it.

Scared to go for 3!

2010-03-01T09:16:00.002-07:00

I have changed 2 daipers this morning and it has taken me now over an hour. Allie and Tanner both exploded out of thier pants. Between changing the daipers, the bath Allie required, changing their clothes, cleaning the poopie clothes, disinfecting the bath tub we put Allie in, Snuggling Allie because she has a massive daiper rash and would not stop crying, cleaning the floor I changed them on, My morning is almost over. I am now stalling because I am scared to check Tyler. I don't think I am up for round 3. But really do I have a choice.

I couldn't do this unless I loved these babies like I do, and the actual snuggle time that I got with Allie which I usually never do was worth the dirty daipers.

Reality Is Setting In!

2010-02-23T11:27:00.003-07:00

FOUR KIDS IS HARD WORK. I always wondered why people with children stop going to church. How could they do that, isn't that when they need church most? Well now I know. It sucks. With three kids that are not yet in nursery it makes the whole time as far from spiritual as it could be. But I know it is where I am supposed to be, so I will continue to go.

Church is not the only difficult thing. Today I had to go to the store and get formula. Tanner has had a horrible daiper rash, Allie a ruuny nose and the runs, and every time I attempted to leave the house I would have to change another daiper. Now just the thought of hauling all 4 kids to the grocery store makes me cry a little bit. (My sweet father-in-law ended up going for me.)

I suppose it could be more difficult. I could be pregnant. Which would be my biggest nightmare coming true at this point. As Brooklyn says "That would make me so sad!"

Now that I have complained I will change my tune and say that I do know that I am extremely blessed. I love my kiddo's more than anything. I have amazing friends and family that have helped me organize my life so I am capable of doing this. Eventhough church is difficult everyone in primary is so helpful with my children and makes it possible for me to serve in my calling. Most important I have an unbelievable husband. He just now called to check in and see how I was doing. I explained my day and he asked me to write a list of things he could do each night to make things easier on me for the next day. I am such a lucky wife.

I know this will be a hard road but I have never second guessed any of my decisions. This is my wonderful family and I am nothing but grateful for them.

New Family Photos

2010-02-09T14:24:00.006-07:00

Since our family has grown leaps and bounds over the last few months my fantastic friend Jenny came and took a few new photos. I wanted to share them with everyone. Also tomorrow is my court case for Tanner. Please say a prayer for us tonight. We have felt your prayers so far and are so grateful. I am thankful for all the people who love and think about us.

Here are the photos:

ALLIE

TYLER

TANNER

BROOKLYN

OUR FAMILY

JUST SOME THAT I LOVED

Just thinking!

2010-02-03T19:57:00.003-07:00

As I was feeding Tanner tonight imagine this. I got a little emotional - wierd huh? Yes I had a few tears. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the blessings my Heavenly Father has given me. I was also thinking about what is going to happen with my Tanner. We are in limbo and since I have not been through this process before it leaves a lot up to the imagination. Anyway, whenever I experience more than one emotion at a time I usually cry (for all of you who know me my multi tasking skills - well - Suck.) I guess my emotions are part of my inability to multi task. Anyway so I am feeding my baby boy and start to get teary and my sweet little girl comes to me and says mom whats wrong why are you crying? I said I was grateful and I was hoping that Tanner gets to stay with us forever. She said "Forever and ever, I love baby Tanner! Mom can I need a Hug!" Just another giant blessing from my Heavenly Father. I don't know why but her words and hug really comforted me. Thank goodness that she did not listen the million times I had told her to go to bed.

I can not believe how much my girls have blossomed in the last week. Brooklyn is such a help. I don't think that I have been allowed to feed the babies for 2 days. That is definitely Brooklyns job and she get so teary when I ask her if I could have a turn. She loves her brothers so much. Then there is Allie. Oh my Gosh! She has changed like I can't believe. I feel like she is so much older. She always loves to give her brothers hugs she is comprehending so much and every time she looks at me with her unbelievably gorgeous eyes I can't help but think that I am in trouble when she gets to High School. I love her buns so much and it makes me sad that I can see her growing up and maturing so quickly now. I want her to stay my little Al's.

So last thing that has nothing to do with anything except that I don't know how I will survive it - My husband pointed out that all 4 of my children will all be in High School at the same time. When I think about that the next year almost looks easy. I guess I'll be praying more than I thought :)

An Amazing New Addition

2010-02-02T14:01:00.006-07:00

Yes another new addition to our house hold. Here he is Tanner William Smith is what we have named him. He is perfect. His skin is flawless and he is as sweet as can be. He has already managed to become irreplaceable in our home. I love his buns so much already. Yes life is chaotic as it could possibly be (although I should not say things like that, the Lord may send another blessing my way :) ) That is why I am going to make this short. Tyler and Tanner are 21 days apart and could not be more different. Just look at the picture. I hope everyone will pray with us that he will be in our home permanently so he can be with the family he deserves. An amazing brother and 2 sisters and parents that could not love him more. Not to mention grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Now before I start crying I better go. But please remember to keep us in your prayers.