Remembering Lans

Isn't She Beautiful!

I have put off writing this because of the difficulty of it. But here it is:

I sat down and hugged Jon today and remembered the days Lana was pregnant with Andrew. We grew the closest during that time. We would talk about how when Andrew was born and she would be working less. There would be play dates at the park, dinners with the family, we would raise the cousins together. We would predict which cousins were going to be best friends. I think it was different every time we talked. The greatest lesson I learned from Lans is what joy simple things can bring you. These were her dreams. Playing in the park with cousins. Having a store that helped people who had cancer, a family get together. The humble list could go on and on. She had such joy in these little things. As my sister in law said she had this life figured out.

Lans was always excited and ready for the next step in life but she always found immense joy in the moment. I remember her living in the back of the store almost since Matthew had been born and she not only never complained, she would tell me how great it was. Then she bought her first home and even though I didn't think it was possible she was full of even more excitement and joy.

My favorite story of Lana was second hand from my mother in law. Even in the midst of a trial like this she was talking to Betsy and said "You know what is so great about cancer?" Betsy looked at her like she was crazy and said, " No Lans what is so great?" She replied, "I get to spend more time with family than I ever have!"

There were few times that I saw Lana get frustrated and it broke my heart. I remember she was at my home, getting ready to leave. She was in such pain that she couldn't make it down my front steps. I went over to her and helped her down the steps and she began to sob. My heart broke. I hugged her for a short time praying that the pain would stop. I have prayed every night for 10 months for that very thing. I am happy that Lans can smile again. Although we are left behind to grieve such a devastating loss my peace comes from knowing we will see her again. Lans we love and miss you with all our hearts. Your memory will live on through your boys, your family, and your friends. I love you!