Remembering Lans

Isn't She Beautiful!

I have put off writing this because of the difficulty of it. But here it is:

I sat down and hugged Jon today and remembered the days Lana was pregnant with Andrew. We grew the closest during that time. We would talk about how when Andrew was born and she would be working less. There would be play dates at the park, dinners with the family, we would raise the cousins together. We would predict which cousins were going to be best friends. I think it was different every time we talked. The greatest lesson I learned from Lans is what joy simple things can bring you. These were her dreams. Playing in the park with cousins. Having a store that helped people who had cancer, a family get together. The humble list could go on and on. She had such joy in these little things. As my sister in law said she had this life figured out.

Lans was always excited and ready for the next step in life but she always found immense joy in the moment. I remember her living in the back of the store almost since Matthew had been born and she not only never complained, she would tell me how great it was. Then she bought her first home and even though I didn't think it was possible she was full of even more excitement and joy.

My favorite story of Lana was second hand from my mother in law. Even in the midst of a trial like this she was talking to Betsy and said "You know what is so great about cancer?" Betsy looked at her like she was crazy and said, " No Lans what is so great?" She replied, "I get to spend more time with family than I ever have!"

There were few times that I saw Lana get frustrated and it broke my heart. I remember she was at my home, getting ready to leave. She was in such pain that she couldn't make it down my front steps. I went over to her and helped her down the steps and she began to sob. My heart broke. I hugged her for a short time praying that the pain would stop. I have prayed every night for 10 months for that very thing. I am happy that Lans can smile again. Although we are left behind to grieve such a devastating loss my peace comes from knowing we will see her again. Lans we love and miss you with all our hearts. Your memory will live on through your boys, your family, and your friends. I love you!

Cancer Sucks!

I have seen many T-Shirts, Hats, Mugs, etc. with this saying on it over the last week and I have to say I totally agree! Cancer Sucks.

I have not dared to start blogging about Lana because I do not feel that I am capable of putting into words what I think and feel. Not that this is about me but I don't think I can do Lana justice in a simple post on my blog. But here is my attempt. Lana was diagnosed with stage 4 Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. What a devastating blow to her and to everyone who has ever had the privilege of meeting her. My heart breaks for the struggle that Ben and her will have to go through over the next few months while they fight this (and win.) It is funny how you never know how important someone is to you until something like this happens. Lana and I didn't see each other very often but every time I think about her even before all this happened it was with awe and amazement. She is simply incredible. So as I sit and think about the fight she has ahead of her all I can think of is reasons I know that she is going to beat it. So here is my top 10 reasons Lana is going to beat it:

1) Lana's optimism- It is unmatched by anyone I know. At times when anyone would be discouraged Lana rises above it. She smiles when others cry. She perseveres where others would give up.



2) Ben, Matthew, and Andrew- Her reasons for the fight. Lana loves all her boys!

3) Pam - Lana's mom who is there to nurse Lana back to health, is there for a shoulder to cry on, to help wake up with the babies in the middle of the night, the list could go on and on. Thank you Pam and to everyone else who is willing to help.

4) Friends and Family - Lana's love of being around her family and friends. It will be another driving force that will keep her fighting.

5) Lana's smarts - Lana knows how to take care of herself. She knows when she needs help, she knows when she can do things on her own. Being a nurse she knows what she needs to do to get better and she is smart enough to do it.

6) Lana's Health - Lana is one of the healthiest people I know. She eats right and exercises. She is so well balanced in her everyday living and I know her lifestyle will help her kick this cancer to the curb!

7) Lana's Kindness - In all the time I have known Lana I have never heard her say one negative thing about anyone or anything. This is the reason she has such a great support system. There was a quote that came to my mind as I thought of how sweet Lana is.

Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.
Margaret D. Nadauld
Sounds like Lana to me!

8) Lana's Doctors - Once again Lana's smarts have kicked in and by the sounds of it she has found herself a great oncologist. Nothing but praises for her by Lana. She has pushed for tests to be done faster, her port to be put in earlier, etc. I am so grateful for her. I'll need to write her a thank you letter for taking care of our girl.

9) Lana's Sense of Humor -To Lana everyone is funny. It is great. I know I am not the wittiest person in the world but when I am with Lana she laughs at my lamest attempts to be funny and makes me feel like I should be a stand up comedian. She is always laughing and there is no better medicine!

10) Because it is Lana - Lana is needed, not only wanted. She is loved. She is a one of a kind who stands out. She is a leader. She has to know the world needs more people like this.

Top 10! I can't think of anything she has against her. She will beat this. I love you Lana!