Rough night!

Tanner got stung by a scorpion tonight :-( I have a feeling it will be a long rough night. I love this little guy! I hate to see him suffer

Stuck!

Tanner got stuck like this while having lunch! What the heck is wrong with my kids. They definitely can't just sit and eat! But they are always good for a smile and a laugh!!

Boys will be boys!!!

This is what happens when boys get into their sisters makeup!!

Gotta love it!!!

Sleeping boys...

Oh how I love them!!

Ghoul formerly known as Tanner

In honor of our little ghoul I bought this the other day! I love my boy!

My boys!

This is what I woke up to this morning. They were sitting right next to my bed! I love these boys of mine :-)

Fighting in daycare!

Today at the gym Tyler got into a fight with another kid. As we walked out to the car I told Tyler that he can't wrestle, push, hit, or fight with any kids and if someone was mean to him he needed to walk away and tell a teacher. After I got them all in the car and buckled Tanner said, "Mom don't worry about it! Tyler was stronger than both of them!"

I tried not to laugh but did not succeed! I have no doubt that Tyler was stronger :-)

Jee Bah Bah. AKA Jingle Bells

I have just now figured out how to download my pictures and
videos so I hope this works. Here is Tanners Version of Jingle Bells I hope you enjoy

Another Milestone Reached!

I might be being a little dramatic but I can not believe it. My luck has run out. I thought I had another 3 - 4 months but sadly that is not the case. My cute little duo has figured it out. They have broken out of their crib for the 1st time today. I was in the shower at about 6:15 this morning and I hear, "Mom" about a dozen times. I thought it was Allie but when I opened the shower door there was my little man Tanner. I told Brooklyn not to get him out of bed which she told me she didn't then looked to see Jon still lying in bed. He told me Tanner did it on his own. I thought it was cute but with going to New York in 2 days poor Emily and Jessica have to deal with bed time. About 2 minutes later Jon sees Tyler running around the corner. He must have looked at Tanner breaking out and thought, "Hey I can do that!" and he did. I think the next step they will take is cutting out their naps. Really this is bitter sweet. I love to see them grow and do new things but I want them to stay my little mans. They are getting so big and I love my kiddo's so much.

Tanner Adoption Day!

What an incredible morning! Not that I needed to be told but the moment the judge announced that we were legally a family I was overwhelmed. Look at this boy who wouldn't be thrilled by this! The judge was awesome all my family that was there to support us and once again Della there to love our family. The moment has come and gone but it is a memory that will stay with me forever. I love my son!

These are some pictures I stole from Becca's blog (thanks) there will be many more to come!

First Picture after it was official

We tried to do a family picture and failed miserably but this was the result and I love it!

Picture with the Judge

My sisters and mom. My best friends!

The Countdown Begins!

2 WEEKS that is it 2 WEEKS from today Tanner will officially be ours. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love for this little man of mine. The nights spent in tears wondering if he will be ours are most definitely over. HE IS OURS! He is so special. Each of my children are so unique that our home would not be complete without all of them here together. Now all my prayers and fasts have been answered. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father who through this all has taught me lessons that I could not have learned any other way. I have always felt some sense of control of the things that happened in my life. This was the 1st time I knew that I had no control. I could only believe, only have faith and leave everything up to my Heavenly Father. No decision I made would change the outcome that my Heavenly Father had for Tanner. It was terrifying but it brought me closer to God and made me realize he is in control. He has a plan for each of us and although at times life seems difficult to understand he is mindful of us and loves us. I am grateful that his plan for Tanner is that he is our son. I pray everyday that I will be the mom my children need, that I help them become everything that God intends them to become. I am so grateful for my children. I can not wait until we are all in the temple and we are all sealed together.

Adoption Date Set!

I am so happy to announce that we have an adoption date for this little man of mine. May 4th! a year ago January Tanner was brought to me as the best belated birthday present anyone could ask for. Now I am blessed with being sealed to my little boy for the best mothers day gift anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful everyday for the blessing he is as my son and a brother to his siblings. I think back to the days that I was pregnant with Tyler and I wondered what would be in store for Tanner. I thank my heavenly father everyday that he brought this little boy to me. He is so special. I am so excited for the day my whole family can walk into the temple together and be sealed and I will be his mom forever.

On The Move!

Both my boys are on the move. I don't know if I should be scared or excited. I can not believe how big they are getting. They are everywhere these days! I don't know how I am going to keep up. I will take it one day at a time. I love my boys!

Tanner in action!




Tyler in action!

Oh Sweet Severance!

I LOVE THIS BOY!

At court yesterday morning we got what we prayed for. Jennifer signed the paperwork and her rights have been severed. I didn't realize how much it had weighed on me until I walked out of the courthouse. It was one of those moments that I again realized how God has had his hand so apparently in my life over the last few years. At least 10 times a day I say a silent prayer of thanks or sit and marvel over the things that have happened to us. As we get closer and closer to the adoption I remember the times I spent holding Tanner in his room sobbing, unable to control it, wondering if at the court case the next day might be the last time I would hold him. Then Jon would come in thinking I was crazy because he always new that in the end he would be ours. But we would say a prayer or if I was alone I would offer a silent prayer and it was only then I was comforted. I knew that no matter what happened it would be okay because God was in control. I remember so many people trying to comfort me with logical reasons of why he couldn't be taken from us and I would try to think it through but in the end it was only a prayer to my Heavenly Father that could comfort me. I am grateful for prayer and for the peace that it brings to me. I am grateful my prayers were answered for Tanner and that I will be the one to love him.

A Little Anxiety

Today I go to court again. I am anxious. I usually go to court early in the morning so I don't have time to think about it but today I have to wait until 3:00pm. It is fine it just gives me a few hours to think of things that I might say wrong. This is the first time ever I will talk to Jennifer (the birth vessel for my kiddos.) We are in a mediation to discuss what kind of involvement she can have. I hope she is comfortable with pictures once or twice a year because I know that is all I can give. I hope I remember to call him Riley, I hope that I don't offend her or make her upset, and I hope that she can tell how much I love Tanner and Allie and she decides that this is the best place for them. I realize I am hoping and praying for a lot but I can't help it. I love my Kiddo's

Size 4's

So it has finally happened. Tyler is now in size 4 diapers and Allie is still in size 3. I should stop being surprised by this but I am not.

While we were away this weekend Tyler wet the bed 3 nights in a row. I thought it would be impossible for him to be in size 4's but I was wrong. The last 2 nights I was visiting my family we tried a size 4 and the next morning the bed was dry. This little man is huge! I am so happy I have my little Tanner that is still in size 2's, I need someone not to get big to fast.

Another Day In Court

I was not able to go to court yesterday. Jon and I had to split up. Jon went to court and I took Tanner to his Dr. appt. I was bummed I was not in court but Jon was very thorough in his explanation of what occurred so I couldn't be to disappointed.

First of all his Dr. appt. went very well. He is so so small I can not believe it. He is in 5% range for weight and the 5% - 10% for height. Then his head circumference in in the 50% range. I love my little boy with a big head.

As for court I feel it was a bitter sweet day. Sweet because I really feel that adoption is a guarantee at this point, but disappointing that we are not there quite yet. Jennifer is wanting a mediation with Jon and I to discuss involvement in his life. Allie is not a discussion because she is already ours! Yeah!!! Jennifer had said that she had requested, from her lawyer, pictures of Allie. We were never aware of any request but that is why she has been angry with us and has been fighting us, trying to send him to the family in New Jersey. The most frustrating thing in all of this is that it could have been resolved just by talking to her. I have no problems sending pictures to her once a year but that is the extent of her involvement. When the kiddo's are 18 they can decide what they want to do and I will support them. We have everything pushed back one month until we meet with Jennifer. We pray that she is okay with the contract that has been drafted by Tanner's attorney. I love that little man and I want to be done with court. But if I was supposed to learn something in everything that has happened over the last few months it is patience. He will be ours soon and his birth certificate will say Tanner William Smith! Our next 2 court dates are on Aug. 16th and Aug 25th. I pray that the next time we must go there is for the adoption. I pray Jennifer's heart will soften towards us and accepts the contract so there are no hard feelings. Lots of prayers between now and then.

Something in common!

So I have said over and over again that my boys have very little, if anything in common. Well that all changed yesterday much to my dismay. Here are my before and after pictures.

















Tyler has NO HAIR! I am so sad. Although it was looking a little messy lately I still loved kissing that full head of hair. I do find comfort in knowing that it will grow back.


We have court for Tanner tomorrow at 8:45. I am of course nervous as always. This is the trial to possibly sever Jennifer's rights and any potential father. I really feel that it can go only 2 ways. 1- Jennifer gives another name for an alleged father, which would mean we go through at least another 6 months of court cases, tears, etc. or they grant the severance and we go straight to adoption. Hmmmm... which one to pray for? I can not wait for the day that he is officially ours. It is so nice with Allie. I make the decisions. Her mom requested pictures of Allie. I was court ordered to send them for Tanner. I didn't have a choice, but with Allie it was up to me. I did send them for 95% selfish reasons. I hope she sees how happy they are together and does what is right for him. My 5% unselfish reason is that I want her to know they are happy and healthy. I will never understand her choices and lifestyle but if I were in her situation I would hope someone would send pictures to me.

Here are Just a few pictures and videos from
this month.

Here is Allie having a water fun day in the Backyard!

3 Little cuties in a crib. I wish it were 4 but Allie was not up for it!

Is there one similarity between these 2 boys?

My sweet children. It is pictures like these that make me realize how blessed I am!


Crashed in the Bumbo Seats!


Allie's Sweet Moves!

1 day and counting!

Just a little over 24 hours until Allie's name will be Alexis Jane Smith!

Also, we got a phone call for Tanner's case worker last night. She informed us that the paternity test for the alleged father came back. The results came back negative! He is not the father. I decided this was a great thing when I called aunt Della and she was screaming with excitement on the other end of the line and then told me all the reasons this is the best scenario. As much as I would like to have a name for Tanner about who his father is I am relieved for many reasons it is not him. So here is to hoping that someday very soon Tanner will also have the legal name of Smith, just like his sisters and brother.