Sudden Reminders!

I called a friend this morning and she told me her cousin has had custody of a little girl they were confident that they would adopt only to find out this week that CPS would be taking her out of there home with-in the week.

Several things ran through my mind as I heard this story. The first is an overwhelming sadness for this woman. That old ache in my chest returned as I remembered the days that I thought I might receive that same phone call and someone would show up at my door to take part of me away with them. She is experiencing my worst nightmare come true. I couldn't help but cry for her. Then I felt even more sad for her because through that difficult time for me I had my other children to hug and comfort me.

My best friend then reminded me how grateful I should be, and I am. She said that her cousins story reminded her of what a miracle my story is. It is really my lives miracle. People say to me all the time how lucky my kids are. I always laugh and think if they only new stories like this woman having 4 children in her home and each of them taken back out. Each time with the hope that they would be theirs, calling them mom and dad. But only disappointment each time. Then my story which everyone knows. They would realize that I was the blessed one, and I pray that this woman will be blessed with a baby as well.

I am grateful for these sudden reminders that make me ponder. I think back to the day that I was pregnant with Brooklyn and Jon took his job at Owens and Bondell, we met Della for the first time. I know that the Lord had a plan for us way back then. He knew Della would play a enormous role in our lives. I am hopeful that this woman has a child brought into her life like my kiddos were brought into mine.

Reality Is Setting In!

FOUR KIDS IS HARD WORK. I always wondered why people with children stop going to church. How could they do that, isn't that when they need church most? Well now I know. It sucks. With three kids that are not yet in nursery it makes the whole time as far from spiritual as it could be. But I know it is where I am supposed to be, so I will continue to go.

Church is not the only difficult thing. Today I had to go to the store and get formula. Tanner has had a horrible daiper rash, Allie a ruuny nose and the runs, and every time I attempted to leave the house I would have to change another daiper. Now just the thought of hauling all 4 kids to the grocery store makes me cry a little bit. (My sweet father-in-law ended up going for me.)

I suppose it could be more difficult. I could be pregnant. Which would be my biggest nightmare coming true at this point. As Brooklyn says "That would make me so sad!"

Now that I have complained I will change my tune and say that I do know that I am extremely blessed. I love my kiddo's more than anything. I have amazing friends and family that have helped me organize my life so I am capable of doing this. Eventhough church is difficult everyone in primary is so helpful with my children and makes it possible for me to serve in my calling. Most important I have an unbelievable husband. He just now called to check in and see how I was doing. I explained my day and he asked me to write a list of things he could do each night to make things easier on me for the next day. I am such a lucky wife.

I know this will be a hard road but I have never second guessed any of my decisions. This is my wonderful family and I am nothing but grateful for them.